Mondays are a Pair of Crocs

     It has been forever since I have written anything and since it is a slow dreary Monday, I thought I might post again.  I woke up EXHAUSTED today and just as it usually happens, Mondays are not cool.  Inspired by a funny e-card thingy today, "If Monday were shoes, they'd be Crocs."  So true!  What describes Mondays better than the most-wretched of ridiculous footwear, Crocs?   Let's do an in-depth analyses together comparing Crocs to Mondays.  C'mon, It'll be fun!  I promise I will throw in some sarcastic Croc pictures & jokes....they were SUPER easy to find.  

Let's start with this one!  If that doesn't look like a Monday, I don't know what does.  Hooray for the internet!

Let us begin...

***WARNING: If you own Crocs and/or are easily offended, just stop reading now.***

Necessary-   Lets face it, Mondays are going to happen whether we like it or not.  If Monday never comes, the week never begins and we will never see the weekend.   We also wouldn't get to say things like, "Having a case of the Mondays," or look at all of those hilarious and original "Grumpy Cat" pictures complete with Office Space type cliches.  

As for Crocs, some may argue that they are necessary as well (chefs, gardners, people who claim they are just so easy to clean--which by the way, is a lie. There is no way those things don't stink.)  Some people might also argue that physically disciplining your children is necessary which I do not believe it is.  Curious on the percentage of those parents that also own a pair of Crocs...just a thought.  

Too much??  Please see **WARNING** above.

Lazy-  I just got used to the weekend and would like some time to relax and then Monday comes along and says, "Wake up you!," "Get some work done would ya'?", "I'm probably going to suck today but deal with it crazy lady who imagines the days of the week talking to her!"  

Ugh. Blah. Boo. Fine.  

I really just wanted to keep my yoga pants on, leave my contacts out, drink some coffee from the drive-thru Starbucks and lay in bed reading books and until I fall back asleep and then have food delivered at lunch time but Nooooo :/  I am totally lazy on Mondays.  

You know what else is lazy and tells the world you just don't give a hoot? Crocs.

They are U-G-L-Y and they ain't got no alibi-  

Seriously. Mondays are UGLY unless you have the day off.  But then Tuesdays become your Mondays so it's really just a wash. :( 

Why do Crocs fall into this category?  Are we really asking this question?  Mario Batalli, if you are reading this please don't take this personally.  You and your obnoxious amount of knowledge of everything Italian is fascinating and impressive and I LOVE pasta and wine but we have got to discuss the shoes. Whoa.  And what the hell are THESE things???!!!  

 Uggs + Crocs = Satan of the Shoe World

No one wants to date you, Monday-  

If I were to go out on a date with a day of the week, which one would it be? 

Mondays are a buzz-kill.  They totally put a stop to the weekend fun so that's a big fat no.  Tuesday, you are slightly more attractive and responsible but a little too boring for my taste. Wednesday, you my friend, are a pervert. Thursday, you've got a real chance since because of you many restaurants & bars have "Ladies Nights" and I am trying to keep an eye on my budget.  Friday, you are just a little too out of control for me.  Everyone gets all excited that you arrive and then things get cray-cray.  Saturday and Sunday might be tied except that on Sundays we have FOOTBALL so it totally depends on the season.

No one wants to date you either, Crocs----if you wear Crocs and you have a significant other, you better treat them like gold covered golden gold.  Well done on whatever other extremely redeeming qualities got them the ignore your choice in footwear!  However, if you are one that needs a little help in the dating department....Skip the Crocs.  Just trust me.